Category: Uncategorized

What do people really mean when they talk about the ‘quality of life’? Usually it’s just a figure of speech that vaguely means they want to live well. How exactly do you do this?

A piece of advice I once heard (I forget the source) provides a simple, practical way of always choosing quality: “Buy three times as good, one-third as much.” When I heard this, I was both amazed at its simplicity and taken back by the challenge it posed.

See, I’m like most other women and love a good bargain. If for a given budget you can get three items, why settle for one? Then I remembered my very first blazer that I bought when I started work – it cost almost $300 and was the most expensive piece of clothing I owned.

That blazer lasted me more than ten years, while the cheaper ones barely made it past two years. So the cost of the good blazer worked out to less than $30 per year, while the cheaper ones cost more than $50 a year. Plus, each time I wore the expensive one, I looked and felt like a million dollars.

I was converted, and started to apply this principle to other aspects of my life as well. You may want to consider doing the same. Obviously don’t spend more than you can afford, and if you can get a quality item at a discount by all means go for it. Common sense still applies, but when faced with a choice between quality or quantity, choose quality. Read more…

I never used to cry at funerals until my father passed away. Today I attended a funeral of somebody I never met in my life, and even then I shed tears. When you’ve lost someone you love, you grieve for everyone else that has lost a loved one. You also feel very mortal because you know it’s a matter of time before each of us lies in a coffin.

There are some people who cannot tolerate talk of death, and if you’re one of them you may not want to continue reading this post. I’ve always found that thinking about dying helps me think with stunning clarity about living. That’s what I’m going to do now. Read more…

Sometimes the simplest things can be the hardest to do. Like listening. I’m not sure if this is true of everyone, but I suspect it’s true of most people. When we listen, we aren’t actually hearing what the other person is saying. We’re too busy forming an opinion or drafting a response in our mind and therefore listening to our own thoughts instead of focusing on what the other person is saying.

Can you think of anyone who listens to you in a way that makes you feel truly heard? You come away feeling relieved, understood, stronger. And this person often didn’t even say very much.

I think the secret is that a good listener empties herself enough to make space for all the words you need to say. By being a receptacle for your thoughts, she allows you to unload your burden into that space, where you know it will be lovingly held.

Good listening then, can be achieved by not doing rather than doing. How do we empty our minds enough to listen well? Read more…

There is a joke about two little boys who put blue cheese spread on their grandpa’s moustache. He woke and said “this room stinks!” and walked to the next room, which also smelt. Finally he went outside to the patio and exclaimed “my goodness, the whole world stinks!”

When you life seems full of problems, usually there is only one problem and it’s staring you in the mirror. Once you raise your hand and admit that you are the real problem, things can start to change. While this can be difficult to do, the good news is that once you acknowledge this, life becomes very simple. There is only one problem you have to solve. Read more…

Sometimes you can be too good. You can give of yourself to others, let go of expectations, love like it’s never going to hurt and basically be a saint. Well, saints are human too and so are you. You have needs and will wilt slowly if your needs are not met. This does neither yourself nor the people around you any good.

The key to honouring your needs are to make sure that they are truly needs and not mere desires, finding ways to meet those needs yourself, and asking nicely if you want another person to help meet your needs. Read more…

One way to ensure optimum performance of your computer is to perform a regular disk clean-up. When was the last time you did the same favour for your very own hard disk, your brain?

What started me thinking about this was a joke about a computer being female because ‘even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval’. When I was done laughing I suddenly realised that the joke described exactly how I used to argue in the past. I would bring up old wrongs to buttress my case, and that often caused the relationship to hang.

So I decided to go through my overloaded brain and clear out any old files and programmes that are holding me back from living freely and joyfully. I invite you to do the same. Read more…

What I was taught in gym training is that lifting weights actually tears down your muscle fibres so that they can be built up again. This is why you do not work the same set of muscles two days in a row. You need to rest that muscle group because it is during this time of rest that the muscle fibres re-grow and become stronger than before.

This is a useful lesson in other aspects of life as well. When you take a break, you’re not just goofing off. You’re allowing your mental, spiritual and emotional muscles to re-build. Read more…

Every one of us has more power than we realise. With just a few words, you can build or destroy someone else’s dream.

Most people tend to pull the brakes on another person’s lofty ambitions. Almost without thinking, we warn that “it won’t work” or “are you sure you want to do this?” and sow seeds of doubt. It takes a conscious effort to be a cheerleader instead, urging the other person forward and allowing him to stand or fall on his own talent and effort.

When someone has chosen a direction and is willing to embark on the long journey to success, the best thing we can do is get out of the way and give them permission to try. Read more…

The one thing that shatters relationships and ruins friendships more than any other is expectations. When we say that someone is not meeting our ‘needs’, we usually mean that he is not living up to our expectations. True needs are very few, but expectations are limitless.

When a person’s behaviour does not match your expectations, you can try to change their behaviour, or you could let go of your expectations. The first is an exercise in frustration and causes untold damage to relationships. The second is also difficult, but possible and worthwhile. Learn to let go. Read more…

Can you imagine getting into a car not knowing where you want to go? You could have the driving skills of Lewis Hamilton and it wouldn’t matter, because you still don’t know where to head. All the talent in the world is useless if you don’t have a direction to guide you.

In the same way, you are the driver of this vehicle called life. Do you know where your life is headed, and what it will be like in five years? Most people would answer No. You can answer Yes to this question if you take control. The only way to predict the future is to create it.