Humans are quick to judge. We use labels like right and wrong, good and bad. While these are useful in guiding our decisions, at the core of these judgments is an illusory duality. They are not in the world itself, but exist only in our perception of the world.
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
– William Shakespeare
Right and wrong is a duality
A duality involves two opposing terms, each of which gets their meaning from the other. When one half of a duality is absent, the remaining word has no meaning.
For example, day and night are defined with reference to each other. ‘Day’ is the time when it is not ‘night’. However, North Pole is in sunshine throughout summer. Day and night lose their meaning here. Other examples of dualities include hot and cold, wet and dry, success and failure, and joy and sorrow.
These dualities are useful, of course. They are just not real, not out there in the world. We use these to define things in relation to one another and thus to make sense of the world, .
Beyond right and wrong
Things that do not require their opposite in order for us to understand them would not count as dualities. These exist independently of anything else and are therefore not illusions.
When you hold your child in your arms, you do not ask what her opposite is. She just is. She is very real, and not an illusion.
However, the joy that fills you as you look down at the child is part of a duality. You suddenly realise that life before this child was joyless because you did not know how joyful life could be until now.
Right and wrong is a dualistic judgment
When you judge that somebody is ‘wrong’, you are engaging in dualistic thinking. He has fallen short of a standard you call ‘good’ and carried out an action that is not the ‘right’ one.
Again, dualistic thinking is not wrong. Sometimes it helps you to define the person you want to be: you may decide you want to be strong instead of weak, brave instead of timid, friendly instead of withdrawn etc. All this is fine.
At another level however, realise that all these judgements at some level are meaningless, because all dualities are not actually real. Once you realise this, you will stop judging others because you start thinking at another level, where comparison makes no sense.
Beyond judgment
When you stop thinking in a dualistic way, you no longer have to need to fit everything into one of two categories: right or wrong, good or bad. You are more able to see something for what it is, instead of what you think it should be.
Just in case you are now thinking that I am saying that judgment is wrong, I’m not. Because ‘wrong’ itself is already a judgment. I am merely pointing out that one type of thinking – dualistic thinking – lends itself to judgment, whereas not thinking at this level renders judgment meaningless.
The next time you find yourself being judgmental, instead of berating yourself for being ‘bad’ and staying at the level of dualistic thinking, just realise that the whole idea of right and wrong itself is an illusion. Chances are you will smile and feel freer straightaway. Judging less will also help you to love others better.
61 replies on “Right and Wrong: Do They Exist?”
I believe that each of us has a part to play in choosing what is right and wrong. Our halo is very important like i read here http://whereismyhalo.com/2011/03/16/right-vs-wrong/
The question of right and wrong has been challenging people since our existence. And, it´s really an illusion, since we humans invented it.
Before you´d make a statement right or wrong you should define these words. Than, you would realize that everybody has a different opinion about it, therefore they don´t exist.
It´s really the illusion of right and wrong since there is no such thing like that. What we create from any event or situation that is what counts as someone mentioned above.
Good and bad or right or wrong has been a question since our beginnings. I think it´s about the power or control to say that I am right and/or you are wrong. It´s always about our approach that makes a certain event or person good or bad. People are reacting differently in the same situation, because their inside message is different. We all have the variety of backgrounds and experiences so our response is going to be different as well.
That’s interesting. The dualistic thinking. I think Yin and Yang talks about it in details, but you are right when you are saying that there are certain things we don’t need to have the opposite in order to accept it or understand it.
Who cares what the child’s opposite when you hold her in your arms as you said for example.
Zoltan,
Thank you so for your comment. It warms my heart when a reader, like you, fully grasps what I’m trying to say. You made my day!
I agree that our thinking gives positive or negative meaning to a certain event, person etc.
Nature is neutral. It’s our approach what counts and what turns an event into something good and useful or bad and depressive.
That’s why I don’t believe in a good or bad movie neither. We are all different and that is the beauty of life. But, what you relate to good and/or bad is very similar in each of us, but the subject of our admiration is different.
Hi Self-esteem Building,
Thanks for your comment. I like the way you put it – nature is neutral. I fully agree, and you stated it well – that we all make judgments of good and bad, but the subjects we choose are different. Well said!
When you say that good and bad aren’t “out there,” it isn’t clear what that means. I don’t know if anyone would agree with such a thing.
When I feel pain, I know it’s bad. When you feel pain, it’s bad for the same reason. Your pain is then “out there” in the sense that it isn’t part of me. The truth of what is good and bad isn’t just what we say is true or false.
My point is that you can deny what I just said and opt for relativism, constructivism, emotivism, or some other anti-realist view, but that viewpoint is far from being accepted as “true.” Just the opposite is taken to be true by the majority of the experts. (There are some experts you might agree with you. I’m not sure exactly what you believe.)
People who don’t believe in evolution seem a bit silly for disregarding the evidence given by the experts. If this is an important subject for you, then knowing both sides might be worth your time.
@ Vered,
Thanks for your comment, and so sorry that I’m replying so late! Guess I’ve been too busy being happy 🙂 Friends do make such a difference to the quality of our lives, don’t they?
@ Tamsin,
You always lift my spirits with your comments, and I have to apologise for replying to your comment so late. I like your use of the term “touchstone”, because we all need that sometimes especially when things aren’t going our way. You were the cornerstone for Joyful Days since its early days… I still remember and I’m still grateful!
@ Evelyn,
Like you, I used to assume that most people were happy. When a friend told me that many could use help, it was the impetus to set up Joyful Days. You’re right that helping others is a great way to feel happy ourselves. You must be a very happy person then, since you help so many people!
James,
Thanks for your comment. I’m sure lots of people agree with you, and lots of people agree with me, even though we both don’t quite understand each other 🙂 It’s great that we’re all trying, in our own way, to make sense of the world we live in. Keep it up, and I’ll do the same!
To say that there is no such thing as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ just because they seem to require opposites makes no sense. I experience pain as bad and pleasure as good. These are not illusions because there is nothing being misrepresented by these experiences.
We think that there is true and false, but these concepts also appear to be opposites. Existing and not-existing. The list goes on.
The great philosophers of our time tend to agree that there is ‘good’ and ‘bad.’ This is called moral realism. To deny such a belief is called anti-realism.
Hello James,
Thanks for your thoughtful comment. There certainly is “good” and “bad” though the meanings of these are man-made, and that’s what moral philosophy discusses. They are not ‘out there’ in the real world though. Existence however is real, and so does not belong to the category of dualities or what I call in this post illusions. I understand that we may not agree on this, and am glad that you took the time to make your views known there. Thank you for being part of the discussion, and for seeking truth.
@ Liara, I’ve heard about different energy levels, for example meditation takes us into a level of vibration lower than that of even sleep. Not sure if that’s what you’re referring to here. Will check out your post, though sometimes all that is way above my head! Good to expose myself to new ideas though. Thanks for the learning!
@ Tom, welcome! You make a good point. At the individual level we need to decide how we want to live, what is ‘my right’ and ‘my wrong’. To impose this on everyone else as a general rule is where problems start. Thanks for the excellent point. You’re doing good work on your blog, challenging society’s unquestioned norms.
I think how society has stated right or wrong and most people follow this belief blindly; is that the right or wrong applies as a general perception.
We need to understand that everyone’s situation is different so you cannot just say its right or wrong.
Hi Patricia,
Good point that we can observe our judgments without acting on them. And the less we act on them, the better we observe them. I hadn’t noticed this virtuous circle until you pointed it out.
Practising detachment is probably a life work. I’m not sure if anyone ever fully achieves that. That itself is a duality right? To be able to detach requires an attachment in the first place. Fully detached people have no attachments at all and that somehow doesn’t seem right, not part of being human.
Thanks for your comment, Patricia. I look forward to exploring some of these life issues further with you on both our blogs.
Daphne, as you express interest in different layers of awareness, you may also be interested in exploring meaning and healing potential in different energy levels. Donna Eden is a wonderful resource on this subject. I wrote a post on about some of her perspectives February 2nd on my blog.
We live in a dualistic world. Practicing detachment has been the best tool that I have found for giving up judgments. I still find that they slip through my thoughts. That doesn’t mean that I have to act on those thoughts or those judgments. The more I let go of judgments, the more awareness that I get of those areas where I am still judging. Today, most of the judgments are still those that I have about myself. I am still very much a work in progress rather than being perfect. Great article and comment discussion.
Hi Broderick,
Weren’t the comments great? I think this is clearly a case where the comments make for better reading than the post itself. I am certainly honoured to have so many intelligent people contributing to the discussion.
You’re right about different perspectives, and needing to take the appropriate one depending on what we’re trying to do. We definitely need to make judgments as you pointed out. We also need to know when not to. Thank you for understanding!
Interesting topic and the comments have really been nice to read as well. I think it’s just a matter of observing the whole situation from a higher perspective. Trying to put everything through our often inaccurate model of reality can definitely cause some pain to ourselves and the others we judge.
On the other hand, we have to judge. I have to make sure I’m making quality decisions in life to bring about the positive results I’m looking for. I understand exactly what you’re saying here.
Hi Julie,
I like the way you put it, that contrasts just “are”. Yes you are right – we need contrasts in this world, and if we recognise them as just being, rather than being inherently good or bad, then we can step back as you say. Thanks so much for your comment.
Hi Stacey,
Compassion is the key, isn’t it? It’s what centers us on what really matters. You are so right that we think we can judge when we can never have enough information to do so fairly. Thanks for your thoughtful comment. It’s great to have you here!
@ CG,
You made a very interesting point, that it is logical thinking that is dual in nature. This is an attractive thought because it means that what is ‘real’, beyond mere perception, is something we can know intuitively, without relying on logic. The proponents of meditation would surely agree.
I like your signature line: Truth is a resting place until the next revelation. I guess it’s true that we know what we know, until we know better!
@ Jocelyn,
Yes, life is not only black and white, and the key word is ‘not only’. Sure, some of life is black and white, and it’s good that it is so. It’s when we can’t see the shades of colour, as you point out, or can’t understand that colour itself is an optical illusion, that we start thinking that it is the only reality. Thanks for dropping by!
Hi, Daphne. This is a terrific, thoughtful post; thanks!
We couldn’t know ourselves in this world without observing contrasts. You’ve done an excellent job of explaining that contrasts are inherently “are.” This naturally leads to realizing that everything in life just is…and when we have the ability to step back from ourselves, our egos, and truly see everything for what it is…when we simply observe the contrasts without engaging in judgements…our lives become SO much simpler and beautiful!
@ Buddha of Hollywood, thank you for visiting and commenting. You made an excellent point – we need black and white to even read and write. Yes, dualities are useful. I agree with you that looking beyond dualities allows us to see the ‘true’ nature of things, and the problem is not being able to do this. You phrased it much more elegantly that I could. Thank you for the great comment!
Judge less and instead live with compassion. Judgments are simply interpretations or perceptions…often not true usually because we don’t have enough information for truth. Like extreme thinking we need to bring thoughts and actions more into the center – or balance – rather than out to the extremes.
Yeah, totally agree with you that we shouldn’t result to such a thinking, some people call it simplistic thinking. Life is not at all black and white only. There is a whole ranger of colors even the human eye couldn’t see. So why fit people into a box?
@ Henie, your comment adds to much to this post, thank you for that. And for sharing the example with your son. I must remember to use phrases like “it’s not working for me”. This phrase works, I think, because it does not accuse the other person, the focus in on you and not him, and it states the truth without judging the rights or wrongs of the action. I love it. Thanks so much for sharing. Your comment really works for me!
@ Giovanna, yes isn’t it curious why we have this need to label and categorise things? And even worse, people? Thank you for your comment.
@ Middle Way, “it is what it is” is a wonderful way to focus on what just is instead of trying to analyse it. My version of “what is happening is what is supposed to happen right now” is probably “everything happens for a reason”. Still, using Henie’s words, both work for me!
Wonderful points, Daphne!!! thank you!
In perceiving light, one creates dark. Logical consciousness is dual, so perceive a thing (to name it) is to also bring into existence that which the named thing is not–it’s opposite.
One point though, in order to experience this playground, we have entered into a requirement of duality–but their a varying shades of comparison, and there is experience of Oneness from the perspective of duality.
Truth is but a resting place until the next revelation….
blessings,
CG
It is nothing wrong looking at the world in a dualistic way. If you are aware of that.
You need both black as well as white, other wise you couldn’t read my comment.
The problem is that people do not look beyond the duality to see the true nature of reality.
So I would argue that duality is not the problem, the problem is human ignorance.
Great post Daphne!
I do my best reminding myself that “it is what it is” and “what is happening is what is supposed to happen right now”.
Those thoughts help to rein in my control and analytical tendencies.
@ Juliet, good reminder to remember this in difficult situations. Something that looks bad now could look very right from another perspective or from a future point in time. That’s why people sometimes say “it’s a blessing in disguise”. Thanks for your comment!
@ Arswino, welcome back! And thank you for the honest question. I don’t think I have a message here, as in ‘you should try this…’ This post is more to do with promoting awareness and challenging the way we normally think, to see if there is another perspective we can take. Your question is a good one for improving my writing skills though – to remember to make the message clear. Thanks sincerely!
@ Amanda, excellent comment. I like your way of thinking of opposites as complementary instead of adversarial. I read somewhere that it takes a great mind to hold two opposing thoughts at the same time and accept each equally. In this regard, you have a great mind!
Hi Daphne
I totally agree with you that a lot of time people think every thing need to fit into a categories. When in fact if we stop make things fit into boxes of categories, we can recieve the real beautiful in life.
Thank you for a great post.
Giovanna Garcia
Imperfect Action is better than no action
Hello Daphne…
One of my greatest wishes is to be completely non-judgemental but there are certain days and certaing things that automatically trigger amd boom, out comes the judge.
What I have learned though is this…rather than thinking/saying that something is “good” or “bad”…what seems to work for me is I simply look at things as either “working” or “not working.”
By using the “working/not working” way, it automatically takes away judgement because accountability falls on you and not on someone else.
Example:
When my son and I interact we use this method and it immediately eliminates judgement by lifting blame from either party…
On staying out late past curfew: Rather than me saying “This is a bad thing to do” I say “This is not working for me…” and you will be amazed how it keeps the conversation open and going right into resolution.
So next time, just express whether “it’s working” or “not working”…You won’t have a chance to judge because you’ll be busy with open communication instead.
Hope this makes sense…If it doesn’t please ask Daphne:0) Take it away, Daphne…great post! THANKS!
Hi Daphne – one way that I try to move beyond dualistic thinking is to think of “opposite forces” as “complementary forces.” This way moves my mind toward thinking of things as belonging together instead of keeping them seperate.
Hi Daphne, thanks for sharing this article. It is interesting for further discussion. However, I am still figuring out what exactly the message that you want to share from your article.
Hi Daphne
Looking at dualities often help one to make sense of difficult circumstances. What we see as only “bad” often brings what we perceive as “good” in some or other way.
Juliet
@ Evan, your point is taken and I understand what you are saying. Thanks for making the discussion lively!
@ Liara, welcome and thank you for commenting! I like your point about different levels of awareness – kind of like different levels of a building and we can move among them. And I agree that our world view depends on what we choose to see. Very insightful comment – thanks again!
@ Tess, I must take that course in miracles! “I will judge nothing that happens today.” Love this, and will make it my mantra for today and see how the day turns out. Thanks very much for this thought!
@ Weakonomist, welcome! Love your nic – a play on the well-known Freakonomics I suppose? Yes, Blink is a great book. In fact I just referred to it in a recent post on trusting your instinct. Hmm, need to think about this one – I think knowing something intuitively is not the same as judging though. Still, I wonder if consistently thinking at a non-dualistic, non-judgmental level will change our intuitive perception. Thanks for pointing me in this direction of thought… have to ponder this one.
@ Lisa, I know what you mean about judging someone on the wrong hair, wrong clothes… as if all this matters. Yet we do notice! We are not judges, indeed. In fact, the spiritual masters I know of, like Jesus and Buddha, didn’t seem to judge much, and that’s why they could see people for what they were, and love them.
@ Celes, it always makes my day to see your bright smile here! We do have more in common than we realised at first! Glad to know that you’re a kindred spirit. Thanks for the Stumble too!
Hey Daphne, great post! I hold the worldview that duality is an illusion, so your post resonates with me. Right and Wrong is really just a matter of perception, since what is right to someone differs to another too. I just stumbled it 😀
It’s very easy to judge a person on their outside appearances. Oh, the wrong clothes, the wrong hair, or the wrong look.
Taking the time to get to know someone takes work, and first appearances should never be the end-all-be-all of a person.
Good post, and a great reminder that we are not judges, but people who need to respect others for what’s inside not outside…………:)
Hey Evan,
My bad. I was thinking of day and night in 24 hour cycles. At the poles ‘day’ lasts for 6 months and so does ‘night’ right? So yes you’re right, an Inuit would still understand ‘day and night’ but not in the same way. I’d love to see an Inuit’s face if I said to him “I’ll get back to you in a few days?” 😉 Thanks for the point though, I’ll have to be more careful with my words in future.
@ Evan,
Judge away! 😉 I love a challenge. ‘Day’ and ‘night’ do not exist if you live all your life at the north pole, no? You would not understand the meaning of either, because you need one to understand the other. That’s what I refer to as dualistic. You’re right though that perception is real, in fact in a way ONLY perception is real since we can only ever experience ‘reality’ via our personal perception of it. Gosh, you and Paul are making me work my brains out today. Thanks for the mental stimulation, I love it!
@ Jennifer,
It was a pleasure linking to your wonderful post. Yes, I think polarized thinking may be a good name for it. Totally agree that when we remove polarized thinking, we start to see things as they are because we are not mentally projecting a defining word onto the situation.
@ Jay,
Boy are you right this was a tough subject! I almost deleted the post because I felt it was so inadequate to make sense of a difficult topic like this. I like your example about how we would describe the plane crash – each word chosen is already a judgment. Well said!
@ Davina,
Ha ha, you caught on fast! ‘Well done’ is definitely a judgment, unless you meant it in the way many wonderful people like yourself do – as an encouragement! And ‘wonderful’ is of course a judgment too. You’re right that we often need to use these words to define ourselves, and there is no harm. It’s just that at another level, we know that these words aren’t necessary because we are who we are and are worthy without needing to judge ourselves one way or another. You make perfect sense!
@ Evelyn,
I knew from reading your blog that you would understand this, because meditation removes the need for labelling a situation, and allows you to calmly observe it. I like your use of the term ‘observe’. We cannot see clearly if we are busy trying to find a label. When we need no labels, we start to see. Jay’s comment about the different ways to describe the plane crash would support your point that we can see a situation in more than one way.
@ All commentors,
Once again, I am blown away by the quality of all the comments on this post. Some of you probably understand this stuff better than I do! I am honoured to have you here. Thank you so much.
Wow, I am impressed with the quality of the comments on this post, and of course grateful. Thank you all so much.
@ Patrick,
Yes we are prone to snap judgments, myself as much as anyone else. You are right though that we can’t choose our reactions, but can choose our ultimate responses. Again our initial thoughts may say more about ourselves than it does about the situation or the other person. I would love to read a post from you about how the brain handles the two levels of thought – cognition and metacognition. This is a topic that fascinates me.
@ Jannie,
Thanks for your honest comment. I fully agree that Lance is a sweetheart. And I’m a cradle Catholic and totally understand your choice to live by the ten commandments. It’s a great black-and-white guide, and sometimes it’s useful to have this black-and-white. I myself often think of the world in black-and-white Star Wars terms – good guys and bad guys!
@ Paul,
You’re right that this is a huge topic, and I’m impressed that you picked up on the fact that I struggled with explaining (and understanding) non-dualistic thinking. I started to write about what JUST IS and thought it was too tacky to continue in that vein. I felt really clumsy trying to use words to describe a thought as big as this.
You’re right to distinguish between judgementalism and dualistic thinking. Most of us try hard not to judge, as in we tend to make a snap judgment that Patrick talked about, but then tell ourselves that perhaps we shouldn’t think this way. What I was getting at here is that when we think at a different level, we won’t have that snap judgment in the first place. Hence ‘not judging’ means literally that – there is no judgment at all at this level, rather than having a judgment and then trying to manage it.
I would also distinguish between focus and judgment. When you’re focused on solving a problem, you don’t need the opposite of the problem to understand it, so it’s not dualistic. But your judgment that it is a ‘problem’ in the first place, now that deserves some thought. It is a situation, yes, but calling it a problem is already a type of judgment, probably a dualistic one because you’re defining that situation by another one which you consider ‘normal’ or ‘no problem’.
Gosh I love the way you’re engaging the topic – it helps me think about it in more depth as well. Thanks for your very thoughtful and insightful comment. I had to think really hard to make this response! Great stuff!
the mind thrives on making these observations quickly. I just finished “blink” and Gladwell talks about this extensively in the section on making decisions without consciously registering actual thought.
Daphne,
There is a lesson in “A Course In Miracles” that states:
“I will judge nothing that occurs today.”
I have it on a sticky note by my mirror. Sometimes if I’m having a difficult time I’ll write it on my hand!
To move beyond what you describe as dualistic thinking introduces people to different levels of awareness. As you point out, to approve or disapprove of certain thinking is itself judgment. To move beyond judgment entirely is a process just like moving to a state of consistent fearlessness is a process. Human beings have many new levels of awareness to work through to truly view themselves as they are in the physical world. We create our self-view, mold and change it more than we realize.
At the poles the sun moves in the sky on a daily basis (though never entirely goes below the horizon during ‘summer’).
My point was that the distinction exists ‘out there’ beyond my eyes and brain. As does this comment.
Hi Daphne,
Day and night do exist at the poles. So do the seasons.
Great post!!! One that reflects my current shift as well. I am moving towards moving away from judging but into observing. Judging is an immediate response for most people but we are looking at things from our filters and applying a label. There may be more ways to looking at a situation than one. What looks wrong, like you said, is not necessarily bad.
Hi Daphne. I like this topic — well done. Is that a judgment?
When I was reading Evan’s comment, it occurred to me that when we are not “present” or are searching for answers, we look for something to define us being where we are. Then we need something to measure that with to prove we are there. Measuring involves comparisons and judgment. I don’t know if that makes any sense. It kind of does for me 🙂 but just a thought that popped into my mind.
Hey Daphne- Tough subject. Judging is tough to avoid. I recently spoke of using questions to avoid the inner critic in us to judge others. I agree with Jennifer when she says that many things are not good or bad- this is so true. We add the labels to things that just are. For instance the plane crash in NYC last night could be looked at as a plane went down in the water, everyone survived, or a hero pilot saved everyone, or a plane was ruined and lots of people did not make it home last night. Which did you say? Great post!!
Hi Tamsin/nudgeme,
Staying up late tonight was well worth it, to have seen your comment before hitting the pillow. I know this sounds corny but I’ve missed you. Glad to hear you’re excited to move back to London.
Thanks for understanding where I come from. This view can sometimes rub people up the wrong way. At least you and I have got Shakespeare on our side! 😉
It’s people like you who make writing this blog worthwhile. I’ve been slacking a little over the holidays, and no longer post daily. But I hope to post two or three times a week.
Wishing you a wonderful 2009, Tamsin!
Hey Lance,
Thanks for your comment! I judge all the time too, even though I know that at some level it is pointless. One day I’ll figure out the theory of everything, but right now I’ll try to get my thoughts sorted out via short posts.
Thanks for reading and trying to make sense of it! You’re such a generous soul, always.
Hi Daphne. Great post here. And thanks again for the link love.
Dualistic thinking…I learned this as “polarized thinking.” Actually, I did a post on it a while back. But you put a little different spin on it. I like thinking of it in terms of dualistic thinking Sheds a new light on it for me.
I love your point about how when we remove this way of thinking that we can see things for what they are. Dualistic thinking prevents the truth from shining through. In reality some things are good or bad, but many things are not. It is up to us to look for and find the good in something/someone. I think just implementing some love and humility will bring that out. 🙂
Hi Daphne,
A few comments.
Judging the judge . . . hmm.
Is night and day really not out there in the world?
My perception is of [something]. The experience is the meeting. But the meeting is the meeting of something.
I think the problem is our attachment to our judgement. This is very different to the world being indifferent. I think it is beautiful, terrible, dull, joyous . . . on and on. All of this I think is real.
Great post – this is a big topic, not easy to discuss.
While you’ve illustrated dualistic thinking, I’m not sure we’ve got a handle yet on just what non dualistic (…thinking? feeling?) is…
“Things that do not require their opposite in order for us to understand them would not count as dualities. These exist independently of anything else and are therefore ‘real’. For example, you exist. I do not need to ask what is your opposite in order to give you a meaning.” The opposite would be me being dead. Or a personality type opposite to mine. It’s true you don’t have to think about either of these to know me or experience me.
“When you go beyond dualistic thinking, you do not need an idea’s opposite to understand the idea. When you hold your child in your arms, you do not ask what the child’s opposite is. It just does not make sense.” But you could – and you’d realize how bad it was to lose the child etc, as you go on to say…
So is non dualistic thinking just thinking of any one thing without thinking about it’s opposite? Don’t we do that whenever we’re focused on something – say, engaged in problem solving? But I’m not sure that’s what’s meant by non dualism.
Also: I think this topic needs to be distinguished from being against judgmentalism – that’s what Lance is talking about. You can be non-judgmental without being non dualistic.
I will try not to judge others but live my life by the 10 commandments because they are pretty good black-and-white rules, if ya gotta have some black and white.
Came here from Lance’s. Ain’t he a reat treat of a human ?!
I’m not totally certain on this but I think it’s not possible to ever really stop making snap judgments that are overly simplistic.
However it is certainly possible to not leave it at that – your first impressions can be modified by spending more time thinking about them. While not easy, it’s a very valuable skill to be able to train yourself to follow your first thoughts with “Ok so why did I think that”.
Patrick
veryevolved.com
Hi Daphne
What a great post and I like your take on dualistic thinking, interesting to get a different perspective on a topic I’m very interested in. Your words really resonate as, for me, there are no definitive right or wrongs, good or bads except those that we create between our own two years so thanks for giving me another way to view this!
I’ve been off line a lot and am waiting to be connected on Tuesday in my house which I’ve moved back to in London – all very last minute and quick, just moved in the last week, but all good and exciting new times ahead.
Do hope the festive holidays were great for you and looking forward to my daily dose of Joyful Living!
All the best for now
Tamsin/nudgeme
Hi Daphne,
Judgments…something I’ve thought much about recently. It is especially easy to judge others, and yet – how are we to know what they have been through, without having “walked in their shoes”. So, who are we to say what is right and what is wrong? Who are we to judge? And yet…we do. Even if it’s just in our minds. We do. I do.
Judge less…that’s great advice Daphne!