Get Over It: It’s Really Not About You

A baby thinks only about itself. It cries when it’s hungry or when it doesn’t get what it wants. Some of us never stop being babies, even when we’re middle-aged. We still think the world revolves around us. I’ve fallen into that trap. And sometimes there’s no pleasant way to say what needs to be said: Get over it.

Why you need to get over it

1. Most of the world is not thinking about you

I once read that whatever problems you have, billions of people don’t care. The whole world, with the exception of just one person, is made up of other people. That’s roughly 6 billion people who don’t really care about you because they’re busy thinking about themselves, just like you are. That sounds harsh, but it puts our little problems into some perspective. There are millions of people with bigger problems.

2. Nobody intentionally hurts another

Often we simmer over the words or actions of someone who never intended to hurt us. You may have offended someone before without intending to, and was surprised at the negative reaction to your words or actions. You never meant it that way, and wonder why people are so sensitive. Well, sometimes we are the sensitive party.

Even if someone deliberately hurts you, remember that they are probably lashing out in their own pain. It’s not about you, it’s about them. So let it go. Be a bigger person.

3. You control nothing but yourself

You have no right to demand that another person acts or speaks a certain way. People are who they are. And even if someone tries to change because they love you or are afraid of you, this won’t last. There is only one person you can change, and that is you. You can choose to rise above, to be better. In fact, the ONLY thing you have real control over is your thinking. If you change your thinking, you can change your life.

4. Your unhappiness is your fault

Ouch, it hurts to hear this. It’s easy to blame circumstances and other people for your unhappiness. But if you are unhappy, it’s because you choose to be unhappy. Make a decision now to be happy. Look in the mirror and smile, or smile at someone else. Act as if you are happy.Β  Write down all your blessings in life. You don’t have to, of course, but don’t blame your unhappiness on anyone else.

It’s not about you, so get over it

If you’re thoroughly offended by this post and upset with me by now, here’s something that should make you feel better. This post was not about you. It’s about me. I was in a funk today and needed to tell this to myself. But if it helps you, all the better. And if you found it a waste of time, well get over it πŸ˜‰

Okay okay, I’ll be nice now. For a more serious approach to overcoming your problems, read Get Over It: Thought Therapy for Healing the Hard Stuff. Or try these 10 things that make people happy.

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9 replies on “Get Over It: It’s Really Not About You”

If only everyone knew the power of your written principles are. You basically listed the essentials to living a happy life. Because if you follow these principles, most of the rest will fall right in place! But people feel more comfortable arguing, blaming, yelling, and feeling sorry for themselves. They let life happen to them, instead of forcing their will upon life. That is how you live!

Thank you very much!
Josh Lipovetsky


Thank you for your comment, and sorry for this very late reply. I’m glad you agree with the principles here, and I’m sure you are living rather happily right now from the sound of your comment!


Thanks for your comment, and sorry it took so long to get back to you. I wrote that article for me and so obviously I need to get over me myself and I too! Guess we’re in this together πŸ™‚

Hi Daphne:

(…. Again – I’ve just left you a long post elsewhere ….)


I’m smiling and aching and happy and weepy and feeling safe and worried all at the same time.

Just been reading your posts about letting go of expectations and some others. Then this one. Why am I enveloped with this feeling of calm?

Must be some glimmer of hope I feel.



I love your comment! To be “smiling and aching and happy and weepy and safe and worried” all at the same time… this is to know life in its fullest glory! This capacity to feel so deeply brings great joy!

This feeling of calm… maybe you’ve finally remembered who you are, connected to both your Self and God… seen the world in all its folly and beauty simultaneously… owned your feelings yet know they don’t own you….

Isn’t this wonderful? And the best thing is, when you’ve been in this place of calm before, you can always come back when life feels choppy and chaotic again. Your comment made my day πŸ™‚

brilliant post and really well written

I’ve no idea how i came across this post….but i really needed to read it. thank you so much!


I’m glad the post helped. It certainly helps me get over myself sometimes πŸ™‚ Thanks so much for your lovely comment.

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